Saturday, 9 April 2011

My first crush

My first crush - aged 11

His name was Mark Sherwin.
He was a few months younger than me and a lot more popular than me.
I remember spending most of year six at school wishing Mark would ask me out...which when you think about it is hilarious as at this point i'd only just started being able to walk home by myself.
Then it happened, it was the end of year disco and on that day Mark Sherwin walked up to me and asked me if i'd be his girl friend. OBVIOUSLY i said yes, because who wouldn't!!! (No comment those of you who know him)
So i was very excited, am i wore the out fit which i had got for my last birthday, it was a brown and green crinkle skirt with a cream short vest top - i know what you're thinking...what a catch!
Well me and my friend jess were dancing to some random song possibly madonnas material girl, Mark walked in with all his friends. There was lots of wispering and then he was pushed over to me and went to hold my hand...but didn' turned to me and said whilst laughing, 'hahaha you thought i'd really go out with you!!!'
I was mortified as i'm sure any 11 year old would be!
I ran out with Jess, relaying the whole story to her - which of course she had overheard! It felt like the whole school was laughing at me and all I could think was...thank god its the summer holiday and we were moving school.

As a therapist now i have come to understand the long term emotional effects this has had, in one way or another. But i guess i had the last laugh as at 17 i got my own back - even if it was through a completly unconcious process! But thats years anyone like me endured a complete ugly betty moment?

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